EXCLUSIVE: Paddington United wins Reevaldo race in shock move

Paddington, London, England – In a move that surprised nearly everybody in the football world, Paddington United has signed Reevaldo, the eighteen-year-old Brazilian sensation.

Paddington have smashed their transfer record and will pay around £8.5 million plus add-ons that could see the transfer fee skyrocket to over £13 million. Reevaldo has signed a five-year deal and will reportedly earn around £40,000 per week, which represents a huge investment for a club like Paddington in such a young player.

This deal has been seen by the football world as a signal of intent from Paddington United, but also something of a gamble, and one that could prove reckless.

Reevaldo is formally introduced as the newest member of Paddington United, alongside his agent, Jaco Moreno (left) and Paddington CEO, Kara Downey (right).

On the positive side, the club is wasting no time making a name for itself after being promoted to the top division for the first time ever. Sources say that Reevaldo spurned a number of the world’s biggest clubs for guaranteed first-team football at Paddington United. We understand that only Paddington was in a position to meet that request for an eighteen-year-old with just one professional season under his belt.

That a newly promoted club was able to spend at least £8.5 million on an eighteen-year-old is surely reflective of the bumper new TV deal the top-division English clubs will enjoy starting this season.

However, there remains one sticking point; Reevaldo was unable to automatically qualify for a work permit, or "governing body endorsement" as it is formally known, and he and Paddington will have to convince the exceptions panel that he merits one.

Should the exceptions panel refuse to endorse Reevaldo’s work permit, Paddington would be denied the services of their record signing while also paying his large wages while he’s loaned out, either back to Maracanã or to a European club.

Additionally, sources can reveal that this deal has put a considerable dent in the Bears’ transfer budget and is a stark departure from the trademark bargain-basement, ‘diamond in the rough’ signings that Paddington United is known for.

Paddington's director of football, Fred Peason explained: “Reevaldo has been on our radar since he was fifteen years old, but this summer was the first opportunity we could sign him. We sent scouts to watch him multiple times last season, and from an analytics perspective, his KPIs tested through the roof on our young attacking player statistical scouting model, or YAPSS. We’re confident that he’ll be able to play this season, as the work permit panel will clearly see what we do – that Reevaldo is a player more than capable of succeeding in this league.”

Peason scoffed when a journalist questioned the decision to rely on analytics when making such a big signing and suggested that the only numbers that matter are eighteen and zero, referring to Reevaldo’s age and number of games he’s played in England.

“We strongly believe Reevaldo can not only play, but thrive at this level, even at such an early stage of his career. We’re aiming to stay up this season and Reevaldo will be a big part of that.”

Time will tell if Peason will be right or wrong, but one thing is clear: Paddington United’s fortunes this season will, rightly or wrongly, largely rest on the inexperienced shoulders of young Reevaldo, provided he's even eligible to play.